Parenting is a job where you’re expected to be good at it, yet you don’t get training for it. When we become parents, our basic knowledge for parenting comes from the things that we’ve learned from our own parents. We adopt whatever method our parents used when they were raising us, and we apply it to our children. Parents also tend to apply whatever is acceptable in society towards their parenting role.

But I’d say, “when in doubt ask your little scout”. Whenever I feel less confident about my parenting ability, I utter those words to myself. Your parents can share their experiences, and your colleagues may teach you a thing or two about parenting. However, the best person to show you what you need to do as a parent, is your own little scout. Remember that each child is different!

I remember a quote from Paolo Coelho’s “The Alchemist”. It goes, “When you want something, the universe will conspire to give you what you want and once you have it, it’ll test you if you deserve to have it”. In much the same way, When you ask for a child, and you’re given one, you are then faced with the challenge of proving you’re the right parent for your child.

When you’re a parent, you have to be realistic. Most parents are confused between their ideal child, and the child they currently have. Your ideal child may be someone who shows respect to his parents, or one who abides by his curfew, and is honest. However, when your child turns out to be different from this ideal, you need to see your child as he really is. He’s not your ideal child.

If you have a child that’s verbally abusive or exhibits aggressive behavior, you can’t go on pretending he’s an ideal child. You have to able to put your foot down, and say to yourself, “I have a verbally abusive child, and I need to find a way to handle this”.

You cannot eat soup with fork. Similarily, you must use the right tools or develop the right skills, to parent your specific child. There are seminars, online forums and specialists that can help you find out more about your child’s behavior. You can also visit the website for The Total Transformation by James Lehman for handling aggressive, verbally abusive children who behave badly.

Everyone can become a good parent to their children, but not everyone succeeds in becoming an effective parent. When you let your child get away with not doing his homework because he had a bad day, that doesn’t make you a bad parent. But it doesn’t make you an effective parent either. Effective parenting is about doing what’s right for your child.

So what kind of parent do you want to be? Think about it.

Looking to fix your problem child? I highly recommend you check this out: The Total Transformation Program. I don’t think this will last long, but you can actually get the program for free right now. Get the details here.