You will always find two characters in any child-related household problem: the victim and the person being put to blame. These situations somehow present an irony all the time. The real culprit is usually the one who claims to be the victim. While the person who is getting blamed for the problem is usually the victim in the scenario.

Playing the part of the innocent victim is what most kids grow fond of when they are in trouble. Obnoxious and abusive children usually show this type of bad characteristic or practice just so they could justify their wrong doings. This situation is what most parenting coaches and child therapists would like to dub as The Victim Stance.

What you need to know as a parent is that the victim stance is definitely not a good thing. In fact it can be considered as an opportunity that induces and promotes bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior in children. The problem here is that kids always see themselves as victims in any situation especially when that situation puts them in an unfavorable part. And as victims you could expect that they will be fully equipped with reasons in the form of sad stories to support their claim of being victims in the situation.

These sad stories will always include the person getting blamed for the problem. When kids feel inadequate about the situation, they stick to their sad story and blame somebody else. For children with bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior, it is much easier for them to just point the finger at somebody else than to take responsibility for whatever happened that caused the problem.

Avoiding responsibilities is what drives these kids to put the blame on others and continue the whole victim stance. Children learn that if they will stick to their story for a good enough time they eventually won’t be held accountable for the problem. You, as a parent, should break this habit. You need to tell your child that he/she is responsible and that he/she is not a victim.

There are always two stories you can possibly encounter when you deal with kids who show bad, obnoxious and abusive behavior: the sad story and the behavior story. The sad story is the part that tries to explain or puts forward ideas about what happened to the child. On the other hand, the behavior story explains what this child did to other people or what the child did to property. Parents need to focus on the behavior story and not on the sad story.

A victim will think that he/she reserves the right to victimize others because of what happened to him/her. Children with obnoxious and abusive behaviors who start acting like they were any real victim would use this and abuse it. Parents, this mentality is not tolerable and should be suppressed immediately because allowing it to happen give these children the chance to manipulate the situation to their advantage. Telling sad stories while leaving or omitting the behavior stories should keep parents alerted. Focusing on the sad stories along will give these children the right to hurt other people.

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