There is no shortage on books filled with so-called expert advice on how to discipline your kids. But, for how do you know which methods are best for your kids? Well, with all due respect to these experts, I would argue that the person who knows your children best is you.

It is great to consider the advice found in books and articles, but at the end of the day you should identify what will work with your individual child. Each family is different, and each child within the family is different and has unique needs.

It’s important not to try to force a method of discipline that is just not working on your unique child. Time outs work well for some children but not for all children.

One of my friends tried every method she could find to stop a child from biting. As she switched from method to method, she frustrated both herself and her child, but nothing worked. She needed to truly understand what motivated her individual child before any of these methods could be truly effective.

Discipline is sometimes necessary to teach children about consequences. Even as adults, there will be consequences for broken rules, so it’s best to teach them now.

Discipline should not, however, be harmful to the child under any circumstances. Harmful discipline will not teach a child the necessary rules about appropriate consequences.

Discipline should also be appropriate for the act committed. For example, if your child uses a marker all over your walls, have them clean up the mess. This will teach them the true consequence of the specific act committed. Smaller children may need more time, or even assistance with the clean up, but be sure they understand that this is not a game.

Your child will respond best to discipline if you take the time to identify what works best for him or her.

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