Social Psychiatry Blog

How To Deal With Hurtful Remarks From Your Partner

It takes work to make a relationship last. One thing that is sure to sabotage a couple is snide comments. Harmful remarks are hard to brush off sometimes and can build up causing resentment.

So what do you do if the catty comments continue? Eventually, even the most patient person will lash out. Here are a few ways to diffuse such situations. .

1. The first time, you can let it go. Take into consideration what factors may have led your partner to make the comment. They probably didn’t mean it and regret saying it.

2. If it continues, try explaining to your partner how those comments make you feel. Make it personal and give examples. Tell your partner specifically how you feel after a snide comment.

3. You may find couples counseling to be helpful. Weekly or monthly appointments may be useful, to resolve your issues. Let each other know what’s bothering you but also what you appreciate about each other.

A regular weekly or monthly appointment may help bring up issues that are causing conflict. At each session, begin with the good news. Each person can start by telling something that they appreciate about the other. From there, each partner can feel free to bring up events that have occurred that have caused the other pain. That way you can get to the root of the problem.

For the meetings to succeed, both people must feel safe and not fear expressing themselves. Use non-blaming statements and try to understand each other’s point of view.

Think about whether you want the relationship to continue or whether this rude behavior is not worth it. If it’s a keeper, remember to give your partner the benefit of the doubt and don’t blame each other when you’re airing your problems.

Be sure to discuss your issues before they become deal breakers and you find yourself single.

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