If you have kids who are bad, obnoxious, or abusive to others the last thing that you would want is to be blamed for their bad behavior. When it comes to the art and skill of disciplining your children, parents should always be on constant alert because they are usually the ones who get blamed for their kids’ faults or shortcomings. Bad children love to blame, manipulate and condition their parents into thinking that everything is their fault. Parents are always the easiest victims around.

Children condition you into thinking that everything is your fault. Unbelievable though it may seem never forget that they are thinking for themselves and are very perceptive even at a very young age. You might not even be consciously aware that your own child has been manipulating and conditioning you into thinking that you are failing at your parenting skills. No, you are not failing as a parent. But it is likely that you will be creating traps that will catch you years later and make you fail eventually. One trap that parents often haplessly create in the disciplining arena is the Why Trap.

Parents should be aware about what the Why Trap, which is a classical parenting error, is all about. The mechanisms of setting up the Why Trap starts out when the parents asks their child “why” the fault was done or “why” did the mistake happen. This is a disciplining error because unconsciously the parent is sending the message “who are you going to blame for this?” to the child. You might not be aware of it and neither does the child but unconsciously that is what’s happening to the point-to-point communication you established.

What happens next is that your child will then come out and start making excuses or start blaming others because of the inadequate feeling. In the long run the kid will start making this a routine. All the kid needs to do is to find someone to blame for because it’ll be easier. And guess who the best targets to blame are? Yes, you got that right – the parents. That’s what manipulative children want you to think.

Parents are not the only ones children can point their fingers to. If it’s not the parents, children with behavioral problems will resort to blaming other people such as siblings, peers, even neighbors or the house pet. It’s not that you should totally distrust your kid but you should take into consideration what his/her behavior really is like. Don’t be fooled and start to take the blame on yourself because once you do you’re going to start doubting your capabilities as a parent. These kids want you to doubt and question yourself.

It’s normal for us to think that we are being helpful and that we mean the best for our kids but that doesn’t mean that we should stop being on the lookout for possible disciplining errors like setting up The Why Trap.

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