Have you ever wondered how it is that there is a certain type of character, narcissistic to the core, almost comically over confidant and smug, who despite a lack of talent or virtue, seems to coast through life, achieving far more than those who surpass them in every way. From my time living in Budapest, I still have a fond recollection of a pair of stories reported in the local paper, which speak to this topic.

The first story concerned a young woman who went running in a residential area near to where she lived. During the course of her run she was suddenly attacked by a German Shepherd, which made a vicious assault upon her. The dog was tenacious, and she only escaped it after a prolonged chase by jumping into the Danube and swimming to safety. As it was winter and the water was cold the dog thought better of continuing its pursuit and turned back. The police were called and alerted to the incident, and some time later they found the owner of the dog, a former resident of the US now living in Budapest. When told about what his dog had done his only reaction was to snort and inquire why the girl had not escaped from it by climbing a telephone pole?

In the second story, an entrepreneur, reported to be a foreigner of Hungarian descent, had purchased an old construction crane, set it up on a bridge across the Tisza River, and set himself up in the bungee jumping business. Akos, a man in his late 40s, known to be a bit of a firebrand, was his first paying customer, and as it turned out, he was also the last. When Akos jumped from the bridge, the stress was seemingly too great for the housing fixing the crane to the bridge. The article went on to say that the injuries Akos would have sustained from the fall would not have been so bad had the crane not dislodged from its housing and landed upon him. At the time the article was written, Akos was languishing in the hospital in a full body caste, but expected to make a full recovery.

Both stories are exceptional and extreme, but they are also excellent examples of how the Players ply their trade.

Denial has a pejorative connotation. However, it is actually a necessary part of our mental framework. It is a kind of disassociation. All of us do it, yet none of us can fully own up to it. Ironically, we must deny our own denial. Otherwise, it would cease to function for us. It helps us not to see what we wish not to see. It acts as a kind of filtering lens, only allowing that information which helps support our beliefs to pass through. In the case of the player, this denial is of such a magnitude that it eclipses everything else. It literally borders on madness. They create reality as they go along. As opposed to maintaining certain fixed ideas as we all do, the object of their denial is constantly shifting.

The pedophile is an example of this phenomenon. They serially commit heinous acts while maintaining an impeccable image of propriety before both the world and themselves. It is not by chance that so many of these deviants cloak themselves in the robes of the minister or priest. Not only does it provide them with a perfect cover, and credibility as well, it also perfectly matches their own view of themselves. Perhaps the most frightening aspect of these individuals is that despite the acts they commit, even when apprehended, they continue to see themselves as virtuous. This narcissistic loop is almost impossible to break, making rehabilitation highly unlikely. Being skilled actors, they have no trouble aping the pattern of behavior of a rehabilitee, but this is just another subterfuge.

The narcissist is characterised by a sense of entitlement and a propensity to be vindictive. He feels that anything he desires is his by rights. He does not distinguish between need and want – both are alike in his world. Among these “needs” to which he feels entitled is the desire to win at all costs. To lose makes him vindictive.

No matter how much they get, how many times they win, they feel an absence of gratitude. Narcissists are ravenous. When deprived of the material rewards or deference they feel to be their due, they are enraged. Because of their completely distorted sense of their own importance, the slightest provocation can provoke the severest retribution. This narcissistic rage, particularly when not readily vented, becomes a vindictive obsession, which can consume them for years.

As awful as there behaviour is and as much carnage as they leave behind on a certain level they must be pitied. For all their self importance and bombast they are behind it all just silly sad people doomed to repeat the same mistakes ad nausea.

John Berling Hardy helps people reclaim their lives. For more of his writings please visit www.playingtheplayers.com